Some "Epic" Stuff ~ Want Some? Get Some!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Some "Epic" Stuff

Yesterday I set out with some other locals to tackle the The Foothills Trail Heartbreak Bench Marathon. You start out near the foot of the tallest mountain in South Carolina and weave the Foothills Trail through creeks and streams, passing some gorgeous waterfalls. When I run with my friend Meg I often will say in a sort of surfer dude voice "EPIIIIC!"

So, as I ran on in the woods seeing pretty things I would say it in my head in the surfer/stoner voice.

People dragging their feet never seem to sneak by me because it bothers me so much, but the whole calling every little thing that some person sees epic sits me right on the edge. If I could imagine someone justifiably going postal, I could see a High School english teacher being pushed over the edge by this.



adjective Also, ep·i·cal.
1.noting or pertaining to a long poetic composition, usually centered upon a hero, in which a series of great achievements or events is narrated in elevated style: Homer's Iliad is an epic poem.

For some reason, this definition rings true. However, someone making a slam dunk, running naked down a hall, or going to a concert, to me, does not constitute an epic event.

When you look at epic journeys, someone sets out to do something, the stuff hits the fan at least once or several times, usually in resulting in everyone thinking that the goal is now unachievable. Then, the hero overcomes the seemingly impossible odds and continues on until he achieves his end or is killed in some grand fashion. Stories that come to mind are the Alamo, Joan of Arc, and Odysseus.

For instance, read this excerpt from wikipedia on Moses:

"Moses' Hebrew mother, Jochebed, hides him when the Pharaoh ordered all newborn Hebrew boys to be killed, and the child is adopted as a foundling by the Egyptian royal family. After killing an Egyptian slave-master, Moses flees across the Red Sea to Midian where he has his encounter with the God of Israel in the form of the "burning bush". God sends Moses to request the release of the Israelites. After the Ten Plagues, Moses leads the Exodus of the Israelites out of Egypt and across the Red Sea, after which they base themselves at Mount Sinai, where Moses receives the Ten Commandments. After 40 years of wandering in the desert, Moses dies aged 120, within sight of the Promised Land."

He murdered, talked to a burning bush, freed the Israelites, and got a book right out of God's hands. They don't even mention that he parted the Red Sea, got water out of a stone by hitting it with his stick, and won a stick/snake-off. The pharaoh had a couple of magicians that could turn sticks into snakes so they did. Moses took his stick, turned it into a snake and his snake ATE those other two snakes.

Now that is some epic shit.

Going to some trail race and doing exactly the thing that you had planned to do. That is far and away not epic at all.

The Geico commercial is a good example. The Gecko says that he is embarking on a journey of epic proportions. He is, but he is also 5 inches tall and is going to walk all over America and talk to every single person in it.

Remember, the dictionary is your friend, and fail is a verb, failure is the noun.

Here is a non-epic picture of numero uno.

Thank you to Brian Guzik for letting me use his pictures.

Have an epic week everybody!

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